"There is a way to fulfil your need to feel loved, valued, safe, and to survive in healthy and secure environment."
Have you ever experienced a moment in which you find yourself not living your life? A moment when life flows by?
This is exactly what happened to me years ago. I watched a movie called “My Life with Me”. While watching the movie a shift inside of me happened. There came a moment of realizing that I was living a life titled, “My Life Without Me.” I was in the wrong relationship, having a wrong job. At that moment, the situation for me was hopeless and unbearable. I didn't see a solution. I didn’t have a person to talk to, no one to understand me. I found myself in the middle of a vicious circle. Despite a bunch of books read, seminars, personal growth education, a broad education, and years of traveling the world behind me, I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel for myself.
I was persisting in a toxic personal and business relationship for more than 15 years. I was convinced I could save the relationship by a positive attitude, work on myself and a better understanding of my partner‘s weaknesses.
Despite my unbearable exploitative attitude I was convinced he would change for the better just as he promised he would.
Cheating, lying, accusations, belittling, manipulation, emotional blackmailing, gaslighting,...
All that in small but regular doses over the years left some serious consequences on my entire being. I have become a total emotional wreck.
I was becoming bitter, confused, sad, physically and emotionally tormented. My self-confidence has been distorted, my soul sucked out. I forgot who I was and what made me happy. I forgot all my dreams and goals.
I was constantly asking myself:
"What am I doing wrong to make my partner treat me so badly?". My belief was that I was the one to blame and that I was losing my mind.
By tirelessly looking for the answers, I attended numerous workshops, seminars, reading books, going to psychotherapists…
Until one day I decided to withdraw completely from civilization. I travelled to Burma and moved away from the world, phones, internet, conversations and people for 14 days.
In complete silence, with the help of meditation, I made inner shifts that eventually led me to a solution.
The „aha“ moment came one day in the form of a friend's question: „Sara, do you know that your partner is a narcissist?“
At that moment, a 2-ton rock fell off my shoulders. I finally got the answer! I got a diagnosis! I knew „what's wrong with me“.
From that point on, my recovery began. I started coming back to life and came back too!
And now I most enjoy working with my clients and helping them identify the vicious circle of narcissistic abuse, get out of it, and recover.
As Sara and I began to discover the causes of my failed partnership, I was most surprised to learn that I was ‘dependent’ on my relationship. By unraveling the secrets of how deep the narcissistic relationship goes, I slowly began to become aware of the dimensions of inner connection.
I began to realize that I was dependent on my own created illusion, deepened by this relationship. I never imagined that someone could study you in the depths of your being and then use just that study with all their might against you. That he is trying to kill your entire creative vein and show it as something incompetent and dangerous to the environmen.
It is true, however, that I suppressed my inner voice myself and relied only on him for an opinion ... of course with the thought that his interior is the same as mine.
With the help of Sara, we discovered all these illusions, which helped me to live a creative and full life again and to listen to my ‘infallible’ inner voice again.
I am going through a very difficult period in my life (divorce) and I have a hard time imagining how I would be able to fight for my daughter without Sara's support and motivation to pursue my goal. As I began to work on myself and my personal growth, my communication with my daughters began to improve. No matter how hard the day I had behind me, I had a full battery after the coaching session, I was quite a bit euphoric and calm on the other hand. From an even more negative emotional state, Sara was able to lift and motivate me. She helps me find my own resources to achieve the goal, the will, the perseverance, and the courage to keep going. There is nothing she can do for me, of course. Sara did not condemn me, but empowered me and above all believed in me, even when I wasn‘t and would just give up. But all the time I wanted to be a good father and an example to my daughters. With Sara, I learned to communicate better with them, as well as with the institutions we encountered in our complicated family situation. I am happy and proud that all this is working out for the good of my children and that I am slowly putting my life back together.
Scale of self
setting tool kit
The Creative 5 Step Healing method system consists of 5 modules. Each module as itself works as a complete whole, while all together they form a strong support in the process of raising awareness of key areas for activating internal sources of power and potential.
The key to recovery is the knowledge and understanding what narcissism as a phenomenon is, what the reasons for addictions are, and which parts of our insides needs to be positioned so that we know how to recognize warning signs – “red flags” in key situations and how to respond appropriately.
With the help of techniques and methods from Neurolinguistic Programming and asking appropriate coaching questions, self-healing process is triggered. As a result, recovery works on several levels simultaneously with lasting effects.